Be honest about the things you do and don’t like or agree with. For example, if you don’t like basketball, don’t fake enthusiasm for March Madness. If you enjoy sketching, share some of your drawings with your significant other.
Talk about everyday things like how your day was, funny things your friends did, your plans for the weekend. Talk to your significant other to learn more about their dreams and goals. Share your hopes and aspirations with them. Discuss your fears, worries, and even your mistakes with each other. Sharing these things will form a bond between you two.
Let them introduce you to their hobbies, and teach you how to do them. (Everyone loves to feel like an expert. ) You can teach them to do your favorite activities too. Listen to and think about their opinion on where to go, what to do, how to do things, etc. Don’t feel pressured to do anything you really don’t want to do. You can try new things without giving up your morals, values, or beliefs.
Spending time one-on-one gives you a chance to pay attention to each other without distractions. When you do things in a group setting, it allows you to see how they interact with others. Don’t just pay attention to how great they look, but also what seems to make them comfortable or uncomfortable, what types of activities and settings they enjoy, etc.
Do things and go places without each other. You had interests before you started your relationship. Continue to do those things. Make time for your friends and family. Even though you are in a relationship, the other people in your life still need you and want to spend time with you, too. Make sure you are making time to take care of your other responsibilities (clean your room, finish your work, feed the fish, etc. ).
Even if it’s just a ‘good morning’ message or afternoon call, check-in with each other on a regular basis. Everyone likes to know that someone else is thinking of them. Make time to actually sit-down and just talk with each other. Talk about your day, your goals, your fears, your friends, etc. Listen to what they have to say and share with you. Use your talks as a way to learn more about each other and to support each other. Talk about the serious and important things face-to-face. [4] X Research source
Talk calmly about what is on your mind in private and don’t use an accusatory tone. For example, you don’t want shout, “You are so inconsiderate! Spreading our business to everyone!” at them in the middle of the mall. Instead, you might wait until you two are alone and say, “Hey, babe, it makes me uncomfortable to talk to strangers about personal issues. Can we keep our personal stuff between just us?”
Disagreements simply mean that you are individuals with two different ways of viewing or doing things. Focus on what is right, not who is right. Trying to problem-solve, rather than blaming each other will strengthen your new relationship. Speak respectfully to each other and avoid saying things just because you are angry or hurt. Be able to “agree to disagree” about some things. Accept that there are some things you simply will never see eye-to-eye about. If they aren’t major, then just agree that each of you has your own perspective. Focus on getting all of your feelings out during the argument. Express all of your feelings, emotions, and opinions about the situation. Then, however, you should focus on repairing the relationship. Check in with your partner afterward. Ask, “Are you okay?” or “Is there anything you’re still upset about?” Then plan to do something special to make up.
If the issue doesn’t go against your morals or values; doesn’t hurt anyone; and isn’t worth leaving them for, then try to let it go. For example, the way he says ‘pacifically’ instead of ‘specifically’ might be annoying, but it isn’t a relationship-ending issue, so just let it go.
Discuss what types of intimacy you are okay with; For example, holding hands, hugging, kissing, cuddling, etc. You might try saying, “This is a little weird, but I want to talk about what I’m okay with. I like holding hands a lot, but I’m not all right with…” Talk about how fast or slow you want to move as well as being safe at each step. For example, you could say, “I want to take things slowly and enjoy the process of getting to know each other. ”
Consider your emotional attachment as the benchmark by which to measure if you are ready for physical intimacy. Do you feel emotionally close, safe, and open enough to match those feelings through physical intimacy? Remember that neither of you have to do anything or move any faster than you are ready to. Just because you all have talked about your limits doesn’t mean you should go straight to those limits. For example, if you both agree that the limit is kissing, then don’t start with kissing. Start with holding hands for a bit and enjoy that closeness. Then move to hugging, then to kissing.
If you are nervous, then take a few deep breaths. You can ask them if it’s okay. It can be really sweet to say, “Can I hold your hand?” or “Can I kiss you?”. Don’t be worried if it’s a little awkward at first, just remember that the relationship is new and you are still getting to know each other.
