You can congratulate the winner by telling them, “Congratulations” and shaking their hand. You can even ask them to give you some pointers if they have time. If it was a team effort, tell your opponents, “Good game!” with a smile. If your opponent cheated, give yourself time to calm down before talking to the officials.
If you think about these things in the moment, it is much easier to accept and be humble about your defeat.
For example, if your team lost a big game, then think back on all of the things that you accomplished on your way to that big game or even during that big game. Did you play well together? Score difficult goals? Or give your best effort? These are all things to be proud of.
If you need to, call a friend or family member to talk it out. Often times, talking it out will help you realize where you went wrong, and you will be able to find ways to improve your mistakes.
Tell yourself that you will try again, and put forth your best effort. If you are not going to put forth your best effort, then it is not worth it. Always be willing to adjust your definition of success. You might not always be able to be the fastest runner; instead of making coming in first your goal, perhaps consider simply trying to beat your personal record. [8] X Expert Source Jennifer Butler, MSWLife Coach Expert Interview. 31 July 2020.
For example, perhaps you had too much on your plate and were not able to put forth your best effort. Or, maybe you didn’t assess your competition accurately. Whatever the problem was, take responsibility for it.
Reflect on the situation and look for opportunities to improve in the future. Try asking yourself questions like, “Where are my opportunities for improvement?” or “What knowledge have I gained as a result of this process?” Perhaps the defeat will reveal that you were meant to do something else, or that you wanted it for the wrong reasons. Remember that tomorrow is always an opportunity to begin anew.
If you enjoy volunteering, volunteer for your favorite charity. The point is to not let defeat ruin other opportunities that might be available to you.
Identify negative self-talk such as, “I’m not good enough” or “I can’t do it. ” Reverse this negative self-talk by telling yourself, “I can do it, I have done it before, and I will do it again. ” Take time to reflect. Reflect on previous situations in your life where, against all odds, you pulled through and made something happen. They can be as small as making the basketball team or as big as landing a job. By remembering these instances, you will be able to pool your inner resources, and find the strength to do it again.
Make a list of the goals that you would like to accomplish in the next week or month. Try to start out small so that you can accomplish these goals and feel better about your situation. For example, one of your goals could be to look for and read books about how to bounce back after you have experienced a major defeat.
