In addition to improving communication, regular family meetings can be a major part of your family routine. Try to practice leaving work at work whenever possible and focus on your family when you’re with them.
When someone gets home from work or practice late, sit down with them while they have dinner, even if you’ve already eaten. Spending time together and having a conversation is more important than eating at the same time.
For instance, whoever finishes folding their laundry first might get to pick out the movie you’ll watch together. Divide chores up into age-appropriate categories. After dinner, your youngest could wipe the table, your oldest could fill the dishwasher, and you could put away leftovers.
For instance, avoid making fun of your siblings whenever they express an opinion. If your siblings pick on you, try telling them, “I know that all brothers and sisters mess with each other, but it hurts my feelings when you make fun of everything I say. ”
If you’re a parent, offer positive, constructive criticism, and try to discourage your children from harshly judging each other. Instead of saying, “No, that’s not how you do that,” say, “Good try, but let me help you do this the right way. ”
When necessary, ask for clarification. Say, “Wait, what do you mean by that?” or “Was this before or after you saw them at the store?” Active listening means putting down your phone when you talk to someone. Try not to check your texts or social media, especially if you’re having a serious conversation. [8] X Research source
Using “please,” “thank you,” and other courtesies can set a positive tone. Hugging your parents and saying, “Just want you to know I appreciate you,” makes a major impact. If your sibling is doing their homework and there’s an empty glass on their desk, ask them, “Hey, can I get you more water?”
Remember, even if someone else’s family takes more vacations or has more expensive things, it doesn’t mean they’re any happier than you and your family are.
Try to keep the tone light. The aim is to encourage everyone to communicate freely, feel comfortable, and have fun with each other. Ask questions like, “What’s the funniest thing that happened to you this week?” Do your best to make sure everyone participates equally. It might be difficult to get toddlers and teenagers actively engaged, but just try to keep the conversation flowing.
For instance set a curfew when your teen goes out, and if they stick to it for a few months, extend it a little later.
Ground rules include no hitting, cursing, or name-calling. Tell them that they need to let the other person speak and discuss their issue calmly. If a fight escalates, separate your kids until they cool down, then help them find a compromise. Tell them that your role isn’t to assign blame (unless one cursed at or hit the other), but to help figure out the best solution.
For example, if your child didn’t take out the trash, don’t give them the cold shoulder or vaguely convey that you’re upset. Instead of saying, “It’s disappointing when people forget to do their chores,” be direct. Say, “Sam, I’m disappointed that you didn’t take out the trash this week. I’m taking away your allowance if it happens again. ”
If your parent doesn’t allow you to go out without an adult or makes you go to bed early, remember that they have your best interests in mind. When your parent is open to negotiating something, like a curfew, maturely talk to them. Make your case calmly and clearly, and don’t whine or yell to get your way if they say no.
If you can’t come up with a fair solution on your own, ask a parent for help.
For instance, if your sibling stole something that belongs to you, such as a jacket, makeup, or a watch, say to yourself, “I really don’t think they did this to spite me. They probably just want to wear this to school and look cool. ” Tell them, “I know you really like my leather jacket. I understand that it makes you feel cool. But it belongs to me and you can’t just take something without asking. ”
If the argument goes too far and becomes physical, talk to another family member, school counselor, or other trusted adult.
