Start taking a new route to work or change your work hours Avoid places that you used to frequent Change any appointments your abuser knows about Keep a cell phone on you at all times and be ready to call 911[3] X Research source
Take whatever security measures you need to make your space feel safe. This is a completely normal reaction after being abused.
Restraining orders are usually effective for 1 year, but the rules vary by state. Be sure to research the rules in the state where you live. A restraining order usually gives you temporary legal custody of your children.
Don’t forget how strong you are! You’ve come a long way and no one can stop you from reclaiming your life. Finding stability is important in the aftermath of abuse, so establishing a routine and sense of predictability can contribute to your sense of safety. Be gentle with yourself, and don’t be overly ambitious about what you expect from yourself right away. [8] X Expert Source Jay Reid, LPCCLicensed Professional Clinical Counselor Expert Interview. 7 Aug 2020.
Your abuser planted these thoughts deep in your mind, and it often takes abuse survivors a while to stop believing them. Give yourself time. You have to stop blaming yourself in order to heal. No matter what the circumstances were, the abuse was not your fault and you did not deserve it.
Grieving doesn’t make you weak. If anything, giving yourself permission to grieve is a sign of strength.
If you aren’t used to keeping a journal or writing pages about this topic seems impossible, try creating lists with bullet points, writing poetry, or even drawing how you feel. Do whatever feels right to you.
Taking your life back is an emotional and empowering journey. Finding sources of creative expression can help you feel even stronger and more empowered.
For example, you might find yourself thinking things like, “I deserved to be abused” or “No one will ever love me because I’m damaged goods. " Force your mind to stop that line of thinking immediately and remind yourself that no one deserves to be abused. Refocus on something positive, like a task, or call up a friend for a chat. Adjusting how you think about yourself takes time, but consistently choosing to focus on the positives can help.
Unfortunately, people often turn to drugs or alcohol to cope with abuse-related stress and anxiety. Try to remember that numbing yourself and healing yourself aren’t the same thing.
If you’re in the United States, call or text the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988 to speak to or text with a live person right now. Counselors can assist you any time of the day or night. You can also text TALK to 741-741 if you’re in the United States to text with a trained crisis counselor from the Crisis Text Line. This service is free and available 24/7. [16] X Trustworthy Source American Foundation for Suicide Prevention Health organization devoted to saving lives and helping those affected by suicide. Go to source
The American Psychological Association has a searchable database of psychologists by area if you aren’t sure where to start: http://locator. apa. org
To find a local support group, search “domestic abuse support groups + your city. ” For online support, start by speaking to someone at the National Domestic Abuse Hotline. Call 1-800-799-7233. [19] X Trustworthy Source National Domestic Violence Hotline Organization providing lifesaving tools, support, and resources for victims and survivors of domestic abuse Go to source
For example, you might ask for emotional support from a trusted family member, friend, counselor, or clergyman.
Establish a sleep schedule and try to stick to it every day. Aim to get 7-9 hours of sleep every night to feel rested. [22] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source As a victim of abuse, there were probably times when you were too afraid or upset to sleep. Don’t feel guilty about sleeping or resting as much as you need to now.
Incorporate a variety of fresh fruits and veggies into your daily diet. Aim for 5 servings per day. Start reading packaged food labels more carefully for nutrition information and try to pay more attention to recommended serving sizes. [24] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
Rhythmic exercise that engages your whole body is often the most helpful. Walking, running, swimming, basketball, and dancing are all great options. Exercises with a mindfulness element can also be powerful for trauma victims. You might explore rock climbing, boxing, weight training, or martial arts.
