Give the person your full attention when you listen to them, such as by putting away your phone and turning off the television. Nod and make eye contact while the person is speaking to show that you are paying attention. You can also try repeating a short phrase out of what the person says and then to show you are hearing what the person says. Ask questions to clarify what the person says. For example, if something is confusing to you, then try saying something like, “I’m not sure I understand. Can you elaborate on that?”

Try saying something like, “It sounds like you have been having a hard time lately. Do you want to talk more about it?”

For example, instead of telling someone, “You should apply for WIC to feed your family,” you might say something like, “Have you considered applying for WIC to help offset your family’s cost of food?”

For example, if you think a friend should look for a better job because there is no chance for her to get a promotion, then you might consider why the friend might like this job. Perhaps, she enjoys the extra time the job gives her to focus on her hobbies.

For example, instead of saying, “I think that’s wrong” or “You can’t do that,” try saying “What if you did this instead?” or “Have you thought of trying that?”

For example, you might say something like, “I’ve struggled to pay my bills before and what helped me the most was getting help with things like buying food and paying my gas bill. Did you know that these kinds of resources were available?”

For example, you might say something like, “You have helped me in the past when I have been struggling, will you please allow me to help you now?” If the person says that he or she wants to repay you and you do not want to be repaid, then you can just say something like, “Don’t worry about that right now. ”

For example, you might try saying something like, “This is a loan, but you don’t have to worry about paying it back right away. Just focus on you for now. ”

For example, you can tell the person, “You don’t have to repay me, just promise that you will help someone else someday if you can. ”

You can leave a money order for the person in his or her mailbox. If you’re a part of a religious organization, then you can talk to your religious leaders to see if you can anonymously forward the money to them.

Try saying something like, “Hey Karen! I wanted to pay you back for watching my kids last week. Can I watch your kids for you sometime when you need a babysitter?”

For example, if the person is a contractor, then you might hire the person to do some repairs around your house. If the person is a teacher, then you might hire the person to tutor your kids.

It’s important that you ask in a way that doesn’t sound like the typical pleasantries. Try saying “What’s going on with you right now?” or “I noticed you’ve been struggling lately. How can I help?”

Try saying something like, “I don’t know exactly what you’re going through, but I have experienced something similar. ”

For example, you might offer to cook dinner for the person one night by saying something like, “I am planning to try out a new recipe on Saturday. Would you like to come over to my house and join me for dinner?”

Keep in mind that you can say no if you feel that someone is taking advantage of your kindness. If you are worried about a friend or family member’s well-being, then you might talk to someone who can help, such as a teacher or a counselor.

For example, if the person has reassured you that he or she is okay, then you should not keep pressing the person to accept your help. You might simply say something like, “I am always here for you if you need my help. Just let me know. ”