Try to remain calm and patient while interacting with the child. If you think about the fact that echolalia serves a communication purpose for the child, and it’s not just way to try and frustrate people, it can help you to see it from the child’s point of view.
Try asking a series of questions to the child that you know they don’t know the answer to. For example, ask “Where are your friends?” and prompt the answer by saying, “I don’t know. ” Then, “What is the capital of Kansas?” followed by, “I don’t know. ” You can write down many questions ahead of time and practice this script each time. Another way to teach the “I don’t know” script is by having another person there who answers the unknown questions with “I don’t know. ”
For example, ask “What is your name?” and prompt the correct response (the child’s name). Repeat this until he has learned the right script. Try this with all questions that have the same answer. “What color is our house?” followed by “Brown. ” And, “What is our dog’s name?” followed by “Spot. ” It’s important that you supply the answers every time to teach the script until the child starts doing it on his own. This approach only works for questions that always have the same answer. For example, it would not work for “What color is your shirt?” because the child’s shirt color will change each day.
This gradual process can provide the tools to build confidence, vocabulary, communication and proper interaction for the child.
I need quiet time. I’m hungry. That’s too loud. Please stop.
For example: you already know that the child dislikes playing with a certain toy, but in order to teach them to express it verbally, you can offer the toy and then keep using phrases or words such as “no thank you,” or “I don’t want to. " When the child uses the desired phrase, give the desired outcome. For example, if the child successfully says “I want more please,” then give them more. If you repeat the phrase several times and the child does not respond, do the desired action. The child will start associating the phrase with the action. Then try again later. In time, the child will start using the phrase.
For example: if you see them trying to reach something, instead of asking “Do you want me to help you?” try saying, “Help me reach my toy, please,” or “Please lift me up so I can reach my book. ” Encourage them to repeat the phrase. Then, whether the child repeats it or not, help them.
When the child needs to be commended for a job well done, then instead of using the name of the child, use the congratulatory word alone. Instead of “Great job Alex!” just say “Great job!” or show it through actions in the form of kisses, a pat on the back, or a hug.
Teaching should not be painful, nor should it involve a battle of the wills. If one or both of you are getting too frustrated, stop and try again later.
Learning language: If they don’t know the meaning of individual words or the purposes or uses of questions. In these cases, children rely on phrases that they’ve heard to communicate. For example, saying “Do you want a cookie?” instead of “Can I have a cookie?” because in the past when an adult said the first question, a cookie materialized. Saying yes: Sometimes autistic people say “yes” by repeating the last part of the question. For example, if you ask your daughter “Do you want to go home?” and she says “want to go home,” she is probably trying to say she does want to go. Communicating when stressed or startled: Echolalia is easier than spontaneous speech, which makes it easier to use during stress. For example, an autistic in a crowded room might be struggling to process all the noise and movement around them, so forming complete/original sentences might be too much. Expressing feelings: If they feel the same way they felt another time when a statement was used. Echolalia can communicate feelings. For example, the child may say, “The pool is closed today” to express any type of disappointment, because there was one time that the pool was closed and he was disappointed. Indicating processing time: Echolalia may be a polite way to show that they heard you and are thinking. For example, when asked what they want for supper, an autistic person might ask themselves “What do I want for supper?” This gives them time to think without making you think they’re ignoring you. Connecting: Echolalia may be used as games or jokes.
Remembering things: Autistic children may have trouble keeping track of a series of steps. They may repeat the sequence to themselves as they work, to help them remember and assure themselves that they are doing it correctly. For example: “Get a cup. Pour your juice slowly. Not too fast. Put the cap back on. Good job. " Calming down: Repeating a reassuring phrase can help autistic children regulate their emotions and relax. Stimming: Vocal stimming may help with a number of things: concentration, self-control, and elevating mood. If the child is disrupting others, you may ask for them to turn down the volume, but it’s usually best to let them enjoy themselves. [10] X Research source
A child who uses echolalia before a meltdown probably is using it to try to calm down when they feel overwhelmed. A child who repeats your question (e. g. “Do you want a cookie?” to express wanting a cookie) may not understand individual words. They may be trying to say “yes,” or they may just think this is a fun game. A child who repeats phrases to themselves in a singsong voice is probably using it for concentration or enjoyment. [11] X Research source
Take deep breaths. If you need to, go into a different room for a little while if you get very frustrated and take some deep breaths and collect your thoughts. Remember that the child is probably frustrated too. (They certainly aren’t having meltdowns for the fun of it. ) Take care of yourself. Parenting can be exhausting sometimes, and there’s nothing wrong with admitting that. Take baths, practice yoga, allow yourself time with other adults, and consider joining a community group of parents or caregivers of autistic/disabled children.
Remember that behavior can be communication. For example, if you say “Did you have a good day at school today?” and your child grins, coos, and flaps their hands, then you have your answer! Some parents fall into the trap of thinking a nonspeaking or thoughtful autistic child isn’t listening to them. In reality, your child can probably hear and understand you just fine.
Try saying “I don’t know what you mean right now, but I care what you have to say. "
Teach them to give you a thumbs up or thumbs down. If they forget, prompt them by showing a thumbs up or thumbs down with your hand. Try saying “Is that right? If so, give me a high five. " If they hit or tap your hand, you’ll know that you understood them correctly. Show them two hands. “Label” each hand with an option, like “Touch this hand if you want to go home and this one if you want to stay. " Let them choose what to touch.
A good speech and language pathologist (SLP) can help your child learn to use AAC. If your child can speak normally most of the time but struggles when overwhelmed, a form of AAC may help for when they’re having a tough time.
“Great job telling me how you feel, Emerson! Thank you for letting me know you’re sad. What do you think would help you feel better?” “Thanks for telling me it’s too loud in here. Do you want a break?” “Great job with thumbs up/thumbs down! You’re getting very good at that. "
Allow pauses in the conversation for your child to think. Forming a coherent response may take a lot of cognitive energy for them.
