Fatigue Sensitivity, sadness, and/or irritability Emotional numbness, or lack of emotion Difficulty focusing Disorganization Low self-esteem Changes in eating or sleeping habits Suicidal thoughts
Missing class often Complaining of headaches, stomachaches, or other stress-related aches and pains Forgetting their homework Struggling to focus in class Seeming fatigued, or even sleeping in class Working slowly Giving up easily Crying, getting angry, or getting upset easily Withdrawing, not raising their hand or making friends Putting themselves down Making pessimistic or suicidal comments, like “life is just going to get harder” or “I wish I could go to sleep and never wake up” Risky or defiant behavior: arguing, fighting, skipping class, stealing, etc.
“I’ve noticed that you’ve been struggling more with your assignments. What’s going on?” “At the beginning of the year, you raised your hand a lot. Now you rarely do. Why is that?”
Be extra forgiving about absences. Try giving lecture recordings, notes, or other materials to the student to help them catch up. Check in right away if the student doesn’t turn in their work. Gently ask what happened, and what could help the student complete things. Give the student shorter assignments. Break larger assignments into small pieces with individual deadlines. Let the student work one-on-one with you if needed.
“Parallel work” is an option, too: you go through your emails while the student works on a worksheet, and can occasionally ask questions if needed.
“This material is tricky, and it’s okay if you don’t get it yet. We have plenty of time to practice. " “It’s okay to make mistakes as you work on this. I make mistakes sometimes too. " “It’s okay if you don’t get a perfect score. Just keep doing your best. " “Oh, did I mess this up? That’s okay. I can fix it. " “Hard work matters much more than intelligence. "
If you don’t “click” with the student very well, try encouraging them to find someone else to talk to. You can recommend a teacher, counselor, sports coach, or other person you know who is a good listen to.
“You’re allowed to be sad about that. " “That must be difficult to handle. " “Of course you’re upset. That’s a very stressful situation to deal with. " “It’s okay to cry. " “It’s understandable to be angry about that. " “It’s okay to feel that way. "
For group work, assign groups (or help the student choose a group) so that the student is teamed up with kind and cooperative people. [12] X Trustworthy Source Association for Supervision and Curriculum Development Nonprofit organization providing innovative, effective educational resources for educators designed to support student achievement Go to source This increases the chance of positive social interactions. Try gently suggesting a club for the student to join. For example, if you notice the student doodling sometimes, give them a flyer for an art club.
“I disagree with you being a bad student. Bad students are the ones who quit. But you are working hard to deal with this, so that makes you a good student in my book. " “That’s a generalization. Emma and Jacob seem to like spending time with you, I know your older sister speaks positively about you, and I like you too. " “A B does not make you stupid. Even geniuses can get Bs sometimes. That’s normal, and part of life. "
“I noticed you turned your paper in early! I’m really impressed. You’re kicking butt at time management. " “I noticed you raised your hand in class today. That was really cool. " “I saw what you doodled on your homework. That was a really gorgeous drawing. I love how detailed the eyes were. I hope you pursue that. " “I noticed you helping Tyler in the hall. You’re a really kind person. " “You know, this semester has been really hard for you, but you’ve refused to give up. I really admire that. You’re a tough cookie. "
Journaling Exercising Spending time with loved ones and/or pets (perhaps making a list of people to try reaching out to) Practicing a hobby Doing something distracting, like an intellectually stimulating puzzle or exercise (e. g. naming all the capital cities they can or reciting times tables) Doing a self-harm alternative, like holding an ice cube or drawing on their skin with a marker
Try reminding them that it’s always better to try the least drastic option first. For example, taking a semester off from school is less drastic than dying.
If something bad does happen to the student, try not to blame yourself. You did the best you could to help at the time, and that’s all anyone can do.
Get the student in on a meeting. Be patient if they’re slow to open up; it can be hard for some people to talk about what they’re going through. It’s imperative that you see a counselor if the student has suicidal thoughts. Keep this confidential, but have a meeting anyway even if the student asks you not to tell anyone. Suicidal thoughts should never be kept a secret.
The disability center can help them get accommodations, like a quiet place to take exams, and extra time on tests. Student health services can help them get depression treatment. If the student seems reluctant, try reminding them that the brain can get sick just like any other body part, and that there’s nothing wrong with getting treatment or taking pills to correct chemical imbalances. Counseling services can help the student talk over what they’re going through, and develop coping strategies for their situation. A tutoring center can offer one-on-one support with assignments. Tutors can guide the student through their assignments, helping them learn the material and stay focused.
Here’s an example: “I’ve noticed that your child seems very tired, and is struggling to stay on top of their schoolwork. I think that talking to a doctor may help. These signs seem similar to what I’ve seen before in students with depression. Getting help sooner, rather than later, may help keep this from getting worse. " If the parents seem hypercritical or abusive, try phrasing it in terms of making it easier for the parents. For example: “I think a doctor may be able to help with your child’s behavior problems. Getting treatment could even lead to some more positive behavior at home, too. "
