Even if you have no mental health education or don’t feel as though you are able to “cure” the disorder, your support and loving regard may help your loved one suffering from OCD feel much more accepted and confident. You can show support for your loved one simply by being there for her when she wants to discuss her thoughts, feelings, or compulsions. You could say, “I’m here for you if you ever want to talk about anything. We could grab a cup of coffee or a bite to eat. ” Try explaining to your loved one that you want the best for her and ask her to let you know if you say or do something that makes her feel uncomfortable – this will help your loved one open up in front of you and feel as though you can be trusted.
Empathy is heightened with understanding. For instance, picture that your romantic partner needs to arrange her food in a very specific, peculiar way before each meal. At first you might find it odd, and ask her to stop or criticize her on this strange behavior. However, after a while, when you find out your partner’s deeper reasons for acting this way and the fears behind them, you are very likely to feel empathic. Here is an example of how you can show your empathy in conversation, “You are trying the best that you can and I know how much it hurts when you are trying so hard but your symptoms won’t go away, especially when they are not really under your control. I don’t blame you for being upset and frustrated lately. You’re probably not only hurt but angry at being stuck with this disorder. ”[4] X Trustworthy Source National Alliance on Mental Illness Grassroots mental health-focused organization providing resources, support, and education for those affected by mental illness Go to source
Make your comments person-centered, such as, “I am so sorry you are going through this right now. What do you think is making your OCD symptoms so bad right now? I am here for you for support or someone to talk to. I hope that you will get better soon. ” Help your loved one reevaluate the severity of her intrusive thoughts. [6] X Research source
An example of a critical statement is, “Why can’t you just stop this nonsense?” Avoid personal criticisms to make sure you don’t isolate your loved one. Remember that the individual often feels out of control of the disorder Constant criticism any make your loved feel as if she can’t satisfy your expectations. This may cause her to recoil and shield themselves from interacting with you.
Understand that people with OCD are often resistant to change, and sudden change can cause OCD symptoms to flare up. Remember to measure the individual’s progress only against herself, and push her to challenge herself. However, don’t pressure her to function perfectly, especially if it is beyond her ability at this time. Comparing your loved one to others is never valuable, because it can make her feel inadequate and become defensive.
Be patient when your loved one is receiving treatment for OCD. Slow gradual progress is better than a relapse, so make sure you remain supportive and don’t discourage her by becoming outwardly frustrated. Avoid day to day comparisons, because they don’t represent the bigger picture.
Say something like, “I noticed you decreased your hand-washing today. Great job!”
Be sure when you are around your loved one that you converse about things not related to OCD and its symptoms. You do not want the OCD to become the sole connection between you and your loved one.
Support doesn’t mean taking on the compulsions of the sufferer, but rather talking with her about her fears and being understanding, even if you think what she is doing is strange.
Aiding your loved ones with her compulsions implies that she is justified in her irrational fears and that she should continue doing what she is doing and engaging in compulsive behaviors. No matter how difficult, you should always try to avoid enabling your loved one, as you will only increase her compulsions this way.
For example, don’t help her avoid dirty surfaces by never going out to eat.
An example of this could be buying your loved one the cleaning products she wants in order to obsessively clean.
An example could be waiting to start dinner until the individual with OCD is done with her ritual. Another example could be going out of your way to do more chores because your loved one’s OCD makes it difficult for her to complete her chores in a timely manner.
Explain that you being involved is making the problem worse. Expect that your loved one may be upset by this, and deal with your own emotions surrounding her pain; stay strong! For example, a family plan for a family that often accommodates OCD behavior by waiting to for the individual to complete her rituals before starting meals can change by no longer waiting to start meals and no longer washing your hands with the person who has OCD. No matter what your plan of action is, be sure you are consistent.
Bring literature home. Encourage the person that treatment can help. Discuss ways in which you have accommodated the OCD behavior. Suggest a support group.
You can ask your general practitioner for more information on OCD treatment as well as a list of local mental health specialists. The first line of treating OCD is usually to prescribe an antidepressant. That can help repetitive thoughts to slow down or be less intrusive, so that hopefully the repetitive actions will become less frequent. [18] X Research source Padam Bhatia, MD. Psychiatrist. Personal interview. 12 May 2020. Medication is often paired with exposure response prevention therapy (XRP), where the person is purposefully exposed to a trigger, and they must try to prevent themselves from engaging in the compulsion. [19] X Research source Padam Bhatia, MD. Psychiatrist. Personal interview. 12 May 2020. Another treatment which may be helpful for the whole family is family therapy. This could serve as a safe place to discuss emotions and offer support.
Preferably, you should see someone who specializes in OCD or at least has experience treating the disorder. When deciding on which doctor to go to, be sure you ask if the doctor has experience treating OCD.
Family treatment can help to encourage helpful communication and reduce anger. [22] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U. S. National Institutes of Health Go to source > You can assist your loved one in completing diaries or thought-records which can help her track her obsessions and compulsions. [23] X Research source [24] X Research source
Do not undermine the medication instructions that have been given by the doctor.
Self-care is critical when trying to care for another person. There is no way you can care for another person if you can’t care for yourself. Be sure not to support her OCD symptoms, but do periodically remind her that you are there to help when she is ready. Above all, remember that you have a life and have a right to your own life.
One of the most popular misconceptions is that people with OCD can control their obsessions and compulsions – which is unfortunately not the case. For instance, if you believe they can change their behavior whenever they want to, you will only get frustrated when they don’t.
Understand common types of rituals and compulsions such as: hand washing, religious behaviors (such as praying a scripted prayer exactly 15 times in order to prevent something bad from happening), counting, and checking (for example, checking to make sure you locked the door). [27] X Research source Young people with OCD may be more likely to disengage in activities or avoid them altogether due to fear of obsessions or compulsive behaviors. They may also have difficulty with daily living (cooking, cleaning, bathing, etc), and higher anxiety levels overall. [28] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U. S. National Institutes of Health Go to source
There are many books on the topic, as well as large amounts of information online. [30] X Research source Just make what you are reading is a credible academic or medical source. You can also ask your general practitioner or mental health specialist for some clarification. Look into alternative treatments for OCD, as well. For instance, a newer form of treatment, called Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), was recently approved by the FDA to treat OCD. In very rare cases, when someone’s OCD is severe enough that it interferes with their ability to take care of themselves, surgery can be a viable option, as well. [31] X Research source Padam Bhatia, MD. Psychiatrist. Personal interview. 12 May 2020.
