At the hospital, ask if anyone on staff is trained to care for someone whose been raped, such as a forensic nurse examiner (FNE) or sexual assault nurse examiner (SANE). Hospital staff will usually notify law enforcement of the crime reported. In some states, the window for collecting medical evidence may be longer. Even if it is too late to collect DNA evidence, you should bring your daughter to be examined by a doctor to check for injury and STIs.
A medical professional can discuss your daughter’s options with her and treat an unwanted pregnancy, if necessary.
Your daughter’s doctor may be able to provide a referral to a therapist who can help.
For instance, you can talk to your teenage or adult daughter about her options for preventing or terminating pregnancy after her rape without telling her what she should do. If you daughter is younger, do not push her to talk to doctors or law enforcement officials about her trauma before she is ready.
Offer to call for her if she is not comfortable doing so. If your daughter wishes to discuss the rape without you there, respect her wishes.
In the U. S. , your daughter can call the national sexual assault hotline at (800) 656-HOPE.
To offer support, bring your daughter to a meeting and wait outside in case she feels uncomfortable and wants to leave.
Depression Insomnia Eating disturbances Social withdrawal Hyperactivity Self harming
Some sexual assault victims may avoid physical contact after their attack, while others may need it to feel safe and loved. Your daughter may take comfort from her favorite meal, a hot cup of tea, a soothing bath with oils, or other small gestures that you can make to help.
For instance, if your daughter is confrontational with her siblings and wishes to skip family gatherings, allow her to do so while she deals with her trauma. Your daughter may also want to spend more time alone or with a particular person, such as a special friend or her mother.
Say something like, “I know that you are really hurting over the rape and I am here for you. " Only directly acknowledge that she is telling the truth if someone has expressed doubts about her account of the events. Otherwise, the implication that someone may doubt her could upset her.
For instance, you can say, “I won’t push you to open up but I am always here for you if you want to talk. " Offering the option of help without pushing her to open up will help your daughter feel supported without feeling overwhelmed.
Never ask your daughter if she is over her attack yet, which may cause her to feel shame. Don’t tell your daughter about the progress of other sexual assault victims, which may make her doubt her own journey to healing.
For instance, playful wrestling or aggressive hugs may make your daughter anxious. Avoid playing movies or television shows with sexual assault as a theme. Let her know that she can and should immediately turn off anything that upsets her. This will help her avoid second-hand trauma.
Writing in a journal may help you sort out these emotions.
Talking to a therapist will allow you to sort out your feelings and be more supportive to your daughter. If your daughter is not already seeing a therapist, ask her to attend one of your appointments with you so that she can see how it may benefit her.
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