Being nervous is a completely normal emotional reaction. Don’t fight or ignore the feeling. [2] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source You don’t need to feel angry at yourself or embarrassed about your nervousness. Accepting it can help you control it.
Try a simple deep breathing exercise. Inhale while counting to five, then exhale while counting to five. [3] X Research source Breathe in slowly through your nose, letting your stomach expand. Then breathe out through your mouth while you contract your stomach muscles. [4] X Research source
Whenever your crush enters your thoughts, try humming your favorite song or thinking back on a happy memory. Call a friend or watch a funny video. It doesn’t matter what you choose to focus on, as long as it brings you joy. Some examples are your pet, the scent of a flower, the memory of your last birthday party, and other happy memories.
Maybe you’re having thoughts like, “I can’t believe I have a crush on my best friend’s boyfriend. They’re going to figure it out and I’ll lose both of them. ” Change that to, “Okay, so I think he’s cute. Big deal! I’m not the first girl in the world to have this feeling. Crushes are normal and this will pass. ” Maybe you’re surprised by who you have a crush on. Maybe you thought you liked guys, but now you have a crush on a girl, or vice versa. This is not a bad thing! You have no reason to feel shame or think about yourself negatively.
You don’t have to avert your eyes from someone’s gaze all of the time. Doing that may end up communicating something negative, like you’re embarrassed or not confident in yourself. Excessive eye contact is what you want to avoid. For instance, if you catch yourself staring, focus on something else.
Doing this will also help you stop obsessing over your crush and prevent you from seeing things you don’t want to see, like pictures of your crush with their significant other. [9] X Research source
You shouldn’t feel like a place is off-limits to you forever because of your crush, but if you truly want to hide your feelings from them, avoid their favorite hang-outs for a while.
If you are always standing a little too close to them, your crush will start to pick up on that. They might even get uncomfortable. Putting physical space between the two of you will help you keep your feelings private.
If you need to, practice speaking calmly before you have to be around your crush. Work on a calm tone of voice.
You could talk about things like shared classes, a new movie, music, extracurricular activities, or an upcoming school event. Prepare questions like, “So have you started your paper for history class yet?” and “Did you write down the homework from 3rd period?”
Try to avoid nervous twitching and fiddling with things unnecessarily. Stand up straight and keep your body language positive.
Even if you end up staring blankly at a page and not reading a word, it will still help you keep your feelings private and under control.
You could also try a creative activity, like painting or writing a song. [14] X Research source Physical activities can also help you deal with emotions. Go for a run or try a new sport.
When you find yourself thinking about your crush, actively engage your mind with something else.
