Before reacting, try slowly counting to 5 in your head. Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths, slowly breathing in and then out again. Focus as hard as you can on some object nearby. Focus your mind by thinking of as many qualities of the object as you can (size, color, function,etc. ).
Remember that they’re not worth it, and your time and energy are valuable. When you walk away, the bully doesn’t get what they want. [4] X Expert Source Katie StyzekProfessional School Counselor Expert Interview. 28 October 2020.
Try replacing everything they say with the word “blah” or some other word, so that when they are talking all you hear is “Blah blah blah, blah blah, blah. " Imagine a soundproof wall between you and them. Or a soundproof box around you that keeps all the commentary out.
Aim for a short period of hard focusing at a time, about 10 minutes. [8] X Research source It’s easier to focus in short bursts and by the time you are done the bully likely has moved on. Do more difficult tasks first. [9] X Research source These tasks will require more of your attention and focus, drawing your concentration away from the bully. Reward yourself for successfully refocusing your attention. [10] X Research source Rewarding yourself now will help train your brain and make it easier to refocus next time.
If a bully is physically threatening you, immediately move towards an authority figure. If you are in a classroom move towards the teacher. If you are on a bus move towards the driver. You may be concerned about what the bully will think if you move towards an authority figure, but your safety comes first. You can just walk away if you don’t feel like saying anything. If you feel like you have to say something, keep it short and simple like “I don’t have time for this. "
Music will help calm you from painful or stressful situations. [11] X Trustworthy Source Greater Good Magazine Journal published by UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier living Go to source Music helps reduce stress and anxiety. [12] X Trustworthy Source Greater Good Magazine Journal published by UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier living Go to source [13] X Research source Music can help aid in better memory. [14] X Trustworthy Source Greater Good Magazine Journal published by UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier living Go to source
Go to your favorite website. Look for something cute or funny. Check out online resources for bullying. Stop Bullying www. stopbullying. gov National Crime Prevention Council www. ncpc. org/topics/bullying International Association on Workplace Bullying and Harassment www. iawbh. org
“Why do you keep attacking me?” “Are you okay? You’ve been lashing out at people lately, and usually, people only do that when there is something they are upset about. " “Why are you trying to hurt people? Does it make you feel better about yourself?” “What are you getting out of this?”
“Did I do something to you? Is that why you are acting like this towards me?” “What have I done to you to deserve you saying that?” If they respond with something you did to hurt them, apologize.
“Apparently you are very concerned with my style and appearance. I had no idea you cared so much!” Laugh and say “You know, I gotta give it to you, that was a good one. " Smile and say “I think you can do better than that, what else have you got?” Don’t join in on the jokes and don’t make fun of yourself just to please the bully. But do take the power away from them by showing that they are not getting to you.
Your parents. The school principal. A school counselor or independent therapist. A teacher you trust.
Start an anti-bullying program or group in your school. Support an anti-bullying project or fundraiser. Be outspoken about bullying, talk to teachers about anti-bullying policies in your school.
They may have only ever learned anger as a response to deal with different emotions. [26] X Research source Their insecurities may cause them to call attention to the perceived shortcomings of others as to draw the attention away from their inadequacies. [27] X Research source The old phrase “misery loves company,” if they are hurting they may just want others to hurt too. [28] X Research source
Does the bully physically threaten you? If it is someone who physically threatens you, tell an authority figure immediately and develop a plan so you will be safe. Are they a name-caller or someone who insults you verbally? Verbal bullying is just as serious and often more common. Do they pretend to be your friend only to make fun of you? This type of bullying is known as relational aggression or emotional bullying and can sometimes be the most hurtful because the person is supposed to be your friend. Are they someone who bullies you online? Bullying does not only happen at school or work; if they bully you online, they are a cyber-bully.
Talk to someone about it, maybe call your best friend. Talk to them about everything that’s going on and how you are feeling. Journal about what you are going through. You can even say all of the things you wish you could say to the bully in a letter and then tear it up. If you are really struggling, speak to a professional about it.
Use your self-worth to set up boundaries and enforce them with others. “It is not okay for you to comment on my weight, my body, what I eat, or what I do with my life. “[32] X Research source Communicate your discomfort. Even a simple “wow” can communicate to the bully that their comment was over the line and unacceptable.
