A person with antisocial personality disorder may have thoughts and actions that defy those in authority. They may also break rules, lack remorse, and even be violent or aggressive. A person with borderline personality disorder has low self-esteem that translates into using others for self-validation. They may act paranoid about what others think, make threats, and have a rocky relationship history. A person with histrionic personality disorder feels a strong need to be the center of attention. They may act sexually provocative, make threats, and form attachments too quickly. A person with narcissistic personality disorder acts with superficial charm and usually lacks emotional empathy. This person may be unable to accept criticism and have a need for admiration. They may exploit others.

Once they’re finished talking, repeat what they said in a new way to be sure you heard it correctly.

“I’m sorry to hear you’re going through that. It sounds stressful. " “It sounds like you’re feeling pretty lonely. " “It’s okay to be upset. " “Of course you’re stressed. You were in a very difficult situation there. " “I’m here for you. "

“Please don’t call me after 8 at night. I use that time to relax with my family and get ready for bed. If you want, you can text me, and I’ll see it the next day. " “I understand you’re upset. I am not okay with you yelling at me. If you don’t stop, I will leave. " “Please be gentle with my things. If you break them, then I won’t let you borrow them anymore. " “If you threaten me again, I will call the police. "

Cluster B disorders can be stigmatized, sometimes unfairly. You could hurt the person’s reputation and cause them to be ostracized. Some people with cluster B disorders prefer to keep their conditions private. You could really hurt their feelings if you share a correct suspicion.

Take a few deep breaths, ask for a timeout, or postpone the discussion for a later time. Keep in mind that if you remain grounded and calm, it’s easier to de-escalate the situation. However, if you both lose your head, it’ll be challenging to resolve the problem.

Even when they don’t mean it, it can still be hurtful. You’re allowed to say “That hurts my feelings” or “I’m not okay with you talking to me that way. " It’s okay to walk away or take some space if you feel upset.

“You’re overreacting. " “Calm down!” “It’s not a big deal. " “Just try _____. " “Why are you so sensitive?” “Just get over it.

If they’re in the United States, contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 and let the person talk with a representative. This person can help “talk them down” and de-escalate the situation. If they use a suicide threat to try to get their way, say “I care about you and want you to be safe. That doesn’t change my boundaries. If you really do feel suicidal, I can help you call a hotline or visit the emergency room. "

Say “I need to be alone right now so I can calm down. " If the person threatens to harm themselves or someone else, call local emergency services for help.

Dedicate one day out of the week to fun activities with people who cheer you up. Make plans to do something like getting lunch or seeing a movie.

Write in a journal Enjoy a warm drink Take a long walk with someone you love Massage yourself Take a hot shower Snuggle with a pet or person Laugh at a funny video Sing along to your favorite songs

Write down your big priorities. Make sure you spend time on all of them. Write in a journal. Make time for your hobbies and favorite things. Remember that you can help them, but you can’t control them. Don’t blame yourself for being unable to fix everything.

Contact local mental health agencies to locate support groups in your area. You might also receive support virtually through online support groups.

Look up counselors in your area who specifically have experience working with personality disorders. In some cases, the counselor may ask your friend or loved one to attend a session to improve communication between you. Only bring the person along if your counselor thinks it’s a good idea.

While people with personality disorders can learn new skills and improve their self-awareness, the disorders themselves aren’t going to disappear. Learning about the disorder can help you better understand your loved one’s thoughts and behavior.