For instance, a friend might say, “You look nice today, but have you ever considered wearing your hair a different way?” An enemy would say, “Your hair is ugly, and you can’t do anything to change it. "

For instance, maybe you told a “friend” about something that was going on at home, like your parents getting a divorce. You asked them to keep it a secret, but they went out and told as many people as they could. In this case, the gossip is true, but they betrayed your trust. Another type of gossip is when a person simply makes up something about you. For instance, maybe they spread a rumor that you cheated on your boyfriend when you really didn’t.

For instance, they may “forget” to tell you about a deadline you’re supposed to meet. Maybe they saw one of your ideas that you were about to propose at work and went to your boss first to present it to them, stealing it out from under you.

They might also try to stare you down, glaring at you. If they are trying to hide something from you, they may put their hands in their pockets or hide them away with some other method.

For instance, a person with low confidence feels bad about themselves, so they may be lashing out at you as a way to make themselves feel better.

For instance, maybe you notice that they start pulling at their hair after someone dumps new work on their desk, moving up a deadline. They likely have anxiety over meeting the deadline. If you want to annoy them, pile on more work if possible. If you want to make them your ally, offer to help.

For example, if you find a person is very meticulous, you know that when you talk to them, you should give them all the details you can, as they are detail-oriented. Also, people tend to dress to a particular culture, one they’re comfortable in. A skateboarder might wear board shorts and casual t-shirts. A person who sees themselves as all business might wear suits or pressed slacks and a polo. Don’t forget to look at the accessories they choose, too, such as religious symbols.

For instance, maybe you notice that every time the boss or a teacher calls out the person, they clear their throat or play with their hair. If you notice the person is lying to you, you might say, “Are you sure that’s true? I thought I heard it another way. " Try to give them a way to save face while reverting to the truth.

Send the person a card or flowers to help celebrate their success! You may make enemies out of some people because you are jealous of their success. However, someone else succeeding doesn’t diminish what you’ve accomplished.

For instance, maybe your enemy is mad because you got first chair in band when they think they should have. You could say, “I know you’re mad at me, but really, it was the director who put us in this uncomfortable position. You’re a really talented player. "

For instance, if the person doesn’t say hello when you walk in, don’t automatically think it’s because they’re rude or evil. Maybe they just didn’t see you or maybe they’re having a bad day.

For instance, you could say, “Hey, how are you doing today? How are you feeling about this crazy math test?”

For instance, if the person is on the other end of the political spectrum from you, you may find you have compassion for their worldview after learning why they hold the beliefs they do.

Try to think of your enemies with compassion. Put yourself in their shoes, and think about what they must be feeling in the moment. Plus, you never know what’s going on in their home life that could be affecting their behavior.

For instance, you could say, “Hey, I heard you like tabletop gaming. I got this great new game called Gloomhaven. Would you like to play sometime?”