If you are very close with all members of the group of friends, you should probably tell all of them at once. If you’re closer with certain friends in the group than others, you might choose to tell the friends you are closest with first, then inform the rest of your decision afterwards. Prepare carefully if you intend to address the whole group of friends about your leaving. Use note cards or a written page to help you express everything you need to.
Stop sharing intimate details and events in your life. Invest the time you used to spend with the group of friends with other friends, or take up a new hobby. [4] X Expert Source Katie StyzekProfessional School Counselor Expert Interview. 25 November 2020. Don’t answer calls and texts immediately. Over time, your friends will become casual acquaintances, then (if you wish) disconnect from you altogether. Be aware that your friends may have questions. They may ask why you are so distant, what is wrong, if you are okay, etc. Prepare yourself to answer these questions honestly.
Do not offer an explanation or respond to their calls, texts, or emails. Block the group of friends from your social media accounts.
Use social media, texts, and emails to stay in touch with friends you really care about. [8] X Expert Source Katie StyzekProfessional School Counselor Expert Interview. 25 November 2020. Visit them when you get the chance. Write each friend in the group a letter telling them how much you care about them. Thank them for their friendship, and cite specific instances in which they demonstrated what a good friend they were.
If it’s easier for you to express yourself in writing, there’s nothing wrong with sending an email or letter to a group of friends (or the ringleader of a group of friends) explaining your grievances. [10] X Research source
Emphasize your own feelings and point of view, and avoid accusatory “you” statements like, “You are very boring. ” Lies will only lead to more lies. It’s best to be honest about your reasons for leaving a group. Sometimes vague answers work best, since they can be both honest and respectful. For instance, “I’m busy,” or “I’ve been traveling,” may work as explanations for friends who want to know why you aren’t spending as much time with them. [11] X Research source
For instance, if someone tries to get you to remain in the group of friends, say, “I’m sorry, I am very busy. ” Or “We’ve had some great times but I need some time apart from the group right now. ” Be calm and graceful when declining invitations to hang out with the group of friends you wish to leave (or have already left).
If you find you are happier during the separation, you can extend it into a full break from the group of friends. If, on the other hand, you find that you miss your friends, you should use the brief period of reflection to remind yourself why your friends aren’t so bad, and reconnect with the group when you have a chance. Tell them that you’ve missed them and can’t wait to see them again.
If your friends are abusing drugs or alcohol, encourage them to join Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous and seek counseling for their addiction. If your friends want you to join them in stealing or vandalizing property, discourage them from doing so. Remind them of the trouble they could get in if caught, and propose an alternative activity like seeing a movie.
Steal goods from stores Abuse drugs and alcohol Vandalize public or private property Engage in other immoral or illegal acts
For example, if you tell your friends that you got a 93% on your test, and they brag that your score is not that great because they got an even higher score, they are bad friends. Conversely, if you say that you’re having a bad day, and your friends insist that they are having even worse days, consider leaving the friend group.
If you find yourself making excuses to avoid your group of friends, they are probably not good for your mental health. Friends that wear you out with their complaints, drama, or criticism should be left behind.
