For example, your reason could be wanting to know when a meeting you’re both going to is happening tomorrow. Alternatively, your reason could be checking in with the person to see how they’re doing.
Don’t write out everything you want to say, as your speech will sound stilted to the other person. Just write down main ideas.
For example, you could say, “Hey, what’s up?” You could also say, “Hi! How are you doing?” or “Hi! What have you been up to lately?”
For example, you could say, “Do you have a few minutes to talk?” or “Am I catching you at a bad time?” Reach out to people that you’re really comfortable talking to in person if you’re a little nervous about chatting with someone new on the phone.
For instance, you could say, “I hope you don’t mind me calling. I just haven’t heard from you in a while. How have you been?” On the other hand, you could say, “I’m calling because I wanted to find out more about the meeting we have together tomorrow,” if you’re calling to find out information.
Try asking them about their family or pets. You could say, “How has Fluffy been lately?” Alternatively, you might say, “Have you read a good book lately?” or “Have you seen a movie you liked recently?”
Try to picture what the person is saying visually, which can help you stay focused. Focus on what the other person is saying instead of thinking about what you want to say. Try not to get distracted by things in your own environment, like other people, your computer, and so on.
Remember not to interrupt with your own thoughts! Wait until they’re done speaking to add your input. For example, if the person says, “I love going to the park. It’s so bright and beautiful this time of year. " You could say, “Yes, it is lovely. I love seeing all the beautiful blooms. What’s your favorite flower?”
For instance, don’t say, “Have you heard from your brother lately?” They can answer with “yes” or “no. " Instead, ask, “How has your brother been lately?” That question gives them a chance to expand on the answer.
For instance, if the person is telling you about a terrible experience, you could say, “Oh that’s awful. I’m so sorry that happened to you. "
For instance, you could say, “Have you heard about the town meeting next Thursday?” or “Did you know we’re supposed to get a snowstorm this weekend?”
For instance, you could say something like, “It was so good talking to you. I hope we get to do this again soon. " That lets the person know you’re ready to go. If you’re just setting up a social visit with someone, your phone call likely won’t last more than 15 minutes. If you’re catching up with an old friend you haven’t talked to in a while, the call might last closer to 45 minutes to an hour.
Start with people you feel more comfortable with. Alternatively, try calling a phone you know will have a recording.
For instance, try calling a friend you like but you’ve never talked to on the phone. Next, try calling a new friend who you have only met a few times in person.
Alternatively, imagine the call you’re about to make. Picture it going just as you want. You don’t have to be perfect on the phone. If you’re making a social call, you’re usually talking to people you like. They know you and will forgive any “mistakes” you make. In fact, they likely won’t even notice some of the mistakes you think you’re making.
Picture the person smiling or with another benign facial expression.
For example, try deep breathing before you make the phone call. Close your eyes, and breathe in to the count of 4. Hold the breath for 4 counts, then breathe out to the count of 4. Repeat several times to calm yourself down. Another option is to use a visualization technique before you make a phone call. Using all your senses, imagine yourself somewhere that relaxes you, such as the beach. Try to stay in that relaxed place as you make the phone call.
The therapist can help you through your anxiety and perhaps refer you to a psychiatrist for medication.
