For example, if your partner loves to cook and has been mentioning lately that they need a certain appliance or tool, that could be the perfect thing to give. It will show them that you appreciate their interests and listen to their needs.
Some examples of things you can make include a scrapbook or photo album of pictures of you two together, a piece of jewelry, or an original drawing or painting of them.
When in doubt, choose something practical that you know they’ll be able to use for a long time to come. For example, a nice coffee mug might not seem like the most exciting or unique gift, but your significant other is bound to get plenty of use out of it, which will bring them more happiness in the long term. [3] X Research source
Look for things that you can do together that reflect your shared interests. For example, if you both like to travel, you might buy tickets for a weekend getaway for two!
Studies show that people respond more positively to gifts that are nicely wrapped. Plus, taking the time to make the gift look good shows that you care enough to put in some effort!
You could hide a gift somewhere and have your loved one do a scavenger hunt to find it, with clues along the way or at important places in your relationship. Pick a time when you’re both relaxed and happy and won’t be interrupted. That way, you can both savor the moment and get more joy from the acts of giving and receiving.
If you have a hard time remembering special dates, use a planner or set reminders on your phone. Schedule alerts a few days in advance so you have time to start looking!
You can also leave little gifts somewhere for them to find, even if it’s just a love note tucked under their pillow or a special treat packed with their lunch.
If you’re not sure what your partner wants to do, ask them! Surprising them with an outing or activity can be great, but it’s also important to show that you value their input when planning time together.
If you have kids, hire a babysitter or ask a friend or relative to watch them for a few hours.
If you’re watching something together, make time to discuss what you’re watching with your partner. That way, they’ll feel like you’re spending time with them, and not just with the TV!
Trying something new is often exciting and fun, and when you share that excitement with a partner, you’ll both come to associate those good feelings with the relationship and each other!
For example, you might agree to have a 20-minute conversation every night before you both go to bed. Avoid talking about stressful or routine things, like bills, chores, and work deadlines. Instead, focus on having a fun and relaxing conversation. For instance, you might talk about a movie you saw together, a book that one of you is reading, or a memory you both treasure.
Don’t keep checking your phone or staring at the TV while you’re together. Put your phone away, turn the TV off (unless you’re watching something together), and avoid interrupting them while they’re talking to you.
For example, you might say something like, “I love you so much. You’re so smart and funny and kind!”
Express your gratitude not only for the things they do, but also for who they are as a person. For example, you might say, “I’m so thankful for all the help and encouragement you’ve given me over the past few years in grad school. I love your kindness and wisdom. ” If you feel moved to share your gratitude with the world, post a picture of you and the other person on social media and write a heartfelt caption.
For example, you could leave a sticky note on the bathroom mirror that says, “You’re gorgeous!” Or, if they’re about to take a tough exam, stick a note in their textbook saying, “You’ve got this, I believe in you!”
If you’re feeling crafty, you can decorate the jar to turn it into a beautiful art project that your loved one will appreciate even more!
For example, if they’re going through a tough time, say things like, “I know you’re struggling right now, but I want you to know I believe in you. I’m always here if you need me. ” If they have a triumph, say something like, “I’m so proud of you, babe! You’re amazing!”
Avoid character attacks and generalizations like “You always . . . ” or “You never . . . ” Practice using I-language to express yourself so that you take ownership of your own feelings without placing the blame on your partner. For example, try saying, “I feel frustrated when I come home every day and the dishes are in the sink. It would really help me if you could load the dishwasher more often. ”
Say something like, “Hey, I know you’re really swamped with work right now. Is there anything I can do to help out?” Whatever they ask, be prepared to do it, whether it’s taking out the trash, helping them run errands, or giving them a hand with the dishes!
For example, you could create coupons that say things like “Good for 1 load of laundry. ” You can draw your own by hand, or search for a printable template online.
Doing lots of little favors in a day or over a period of time can add up to say something big, which is that you appreciate the other person and want to do things to make their life easier and better.
For example, if you notice that your friend is complaining about not having enough time to get all of their errands done in a day, you could offer to go do one of their errands for them.
Holding hands while you’re walking or sitting together is a simple, classic gesture of affection. When you’re sitting side-by-side, lean in so that your shoulders touch, or briefly rest your head on their shoulder.
Another great way to deepen your physical bond with your partner is to give them a lingering kiss—try to make it last at least 6 seconds.
Occasionally, you can even make an event of it. Break out the scented candles and massage oils and treat them to a romantic and intimate massage.
For example, say something like, “Do you like it when I caress you like this?” or “Is this okay?”
While scheduling sex doesn’t seem like the most romantic thing in the world, making time for intimacy can be very healthy for your relationship. [29] X Research source It helps create a sense of importance and priority around those special moments with your partner. Set aside a time that works well for both of you, when you won’t be pressured or interrupted. For example, you might plan to get intimate every Friday evening after work.
