It’s okay if your sister draws really well, and you’re not so good at that. Everyone is good at different things. There are things you can do well, that your sister or brother can’t. Don’t brag about it or try to make them feel bad.
Tell your parents if you are feeling left out, and they will find some way to include you in the fun.
Don’t complain about your sister or brother in front of your parents - this will just make your sibling angry. Talk to your mom or dad sometime when they are alone, and your sister or brother won’t over hear you.
The death of a parent, a divorce, or the birth of a child or grandchild often makes people reconsider other relationships in their life. People are also more open to change when their children leave home for the first time, or right after they retire.
Be open to what they have to say – don’t assume you already understand how they feel. Give them time to talk, without interrupting. There might be something you don’t know about the situation.
If trust was breached, be honest and tell them why you did what you did, and what you were thinking at the time. You may need to do some soul-searching to determine your motives, so you can give them a genuine explanation. Avoid making excuses. Don’t try to rationalize your behavior, because your sibling won’t be fooled by this and they won’t believe that you genuinely want to change.
Be specific regarding steps she can take to help, so she won’t have to guess. Changing a relationship is a process. Take small steps at a time, and you will feel that you are making progress.
For example, if your sibling has always relied on you, and now you want to expect mutual support, they may resist at first. They may suddenly come to you with a new problem to solve, so be on the lookout for it. Family members may complicate matters at first, by reinforcing old patterns. A spouse, for example, may express suspicion that your sibling is being genuine, stirring up negative emotions. Ask family members to support you and your sibling’s decision to change.
If there are hurtful words that are off-limits, agree to avoid them. If you haven’t always communicated as well or as often as you should, come up with a schedule of how often you will speak, and how. Is email sufficient? Would your sister be happier if you spoke on the phone instead? Who should call whom, and how frequently?
While few adult siblings sever ties with their family completely, as many as one-third describe their relationship as “rivalrous” or “distant. ” Counseling for siblings can be just as effective as marriage counseling, if both partners are genuinely willing to work things out. [18] X Expert Source Supatra Tovar, PsyD, RDLicensed Clinical Psychologist (PSY #31949), Registered Dietitian, & Fitness Expert Expert Interview. 6 October 2021. Experts say the number one cause of rifts between siblings is an inheritance or family assets – money is also a leading cause of divorce. [19] X Research source
A caring mediator will offer support for both of you, which may help you get through a potentially unpleasant, emotionally-charged conversation.
