Do not respond to any of their texts, emails, or website comments. Instead, save all of these communications for evidence. If you see the stalker, try not to show any reaction. The stalker wants to see you react to know they have control. Do your best to present a stone-faced and calm exterior, but don’t beat yourself up if you can’t. Their behavior is not your fault.
Make sure you record and report all details of the threat once you are in a safe place. A stalker may also threaten suicide in order to manipulate you, particularly if you were previously in a relationship with them. If this happens, contact law enforcement. Do not allow yourself to be manipulated.
Send out an email from your new email address to your close contacts. You could say, “I’ve had to change my email address because I’m currently being harassed and stalked by my ex-husband. I ask that you please not share this address with others unless you have my permission. ” Change your passwords for all online accounts, including banking, shopping, and entertainment websites. You may wish to keep your old email and phone/phone number active in order to collect evidence against the stalker, but have that information forwarded along to law enforcement.
Tell people you trust, such as family members, close friends, teachers, co-workers, or those in your religious community. You also may want to inform people in protective roles at your school or work about your situation. For example, consider informing your school principal, university official, or security company at work. Show people the stalker’s picture or give them a detailed description of their appearance. Let them know what they should do if they see the person. For example, “Please call the police right away if you see him. And please text me so I can stay away. ”
Your stalker may be using what you post on social media to track you down and learn about your day-to-day activities. If you know the stalker and their online identity, block them from being able to access your accounts.
You may wish to have an emergency bag packed if you find you need to leave quickly with necessary papers and supplies. Consider informing family and friends of a code word or phrase that indicates that you are in danger and not able to speak freely. For example, you could decide that “Do you want to order Thai food tonight?” is your signal for your friend to contact emergency services on your behalf. If you have children, help them know of safe places to go and people to talk to if you or they find themselves in danger.
Don’t walk alone at night. Ask your friends to walk you to your door. Make sure you have all your belongings with you. Be conscious of remembering your wallet or jacket, for example.
Do not wear headphones. Carry a self-defense item, such as pepper spray, with you. Find friends to work out with. For example, if you’re a runner, recruit one of your friends to train for a race with you.
Take a self-defense class. You can often find self-defense classes at fitness centers, community centers, colleges/universities, or at local martial arts studios. Carry a self-defense item, such as pepper spray, with you, and make sure you know how to use it. Consider asking a police officer what self-defense tools they recommend.
Keeping doors and windows locked, even when you’re at home. Keep the curtains closed. Giving a spare key to a neighbor instead of hiding one on your property. Installing a security camera or security system around your property.
Ask friends or family to call you when they are outside your door, or identify themselves by name while knocking. For example, they could say, “Hi Jane! It’s Carlos! I’m at your front door!” Consider having your deliveries sent to your place of employment, if possible, or a friend’s or family member’s house. Ask any service people for their identification badge if they will be working on your property. Install a peephole if you don’t have one.
Take a screenshot of any website harassment to send to the police. You can also report harassment to the owner of the website, who may be able to help you or law enforcement track down the location of the perpetrator. If you suspect the stalker has caused damage to your property, file a police report (for insurance purposes as well as evidence), and be sure to photograph the damage.
If anyone else in your life routinely sees the stalker, like a coworker or roommate, ask them if they would be willing to create an incident log of their own sightings/encounters for additional evidence.
A stalker is not a person who shows up repeatedly and annoys you. Repeated contacts are considered stalking only when the encounters begin to have power over you and frighten you. [5] X Research source
Following you (whether you know it or not) Frequently calling you and hanging up, or sending you numerous, unwanted texts or emails Showing up at your home, school, or place of work, or waiting for you outside of these places Leaving gifts for you Damaging your home or other property[6] X Research source
If you know the person who is stalking you, provide law enforcement all the information you have on this individual, including any electronic information like email addresses or usernames. Provide a picture if you can. If you do not know the person, try to safely record a video or get a picture of them. Write down a license plate number and as specific a description as you are able.
