Try to walk towards other people, such as towards a teacher or someone else who will not put up with bullying.
Find a teacher, parent, school counselor, or someone else who can help you and immediately tell them what the bully has been saying or doing to you. If the bullying occurs somewhere else, call the police or get a cop’s attention if one is nearby. Try saying something like, “Joyce is bullying me. She keeps making fun of my weight and she will not stop. I have asked her to stop, but she is still doing it. I think I need some help to make it stop. ” You can also write a note to explain what is happening. Deliver the note to your teacher, school counselor, or principal. Tell someone else if the first person you tell does not do anything about the bully. Don’t accept that you will have to put up with the bullying.
Don’t try to confront the bully if you feel like doing so might put you in danger. To use assertive body language, stand up tall and face the bully. Look the bully in the eye when you are speaking to them. Don’t look down and don’t try to make yourself smaller, such as by folding your arms or bringing your knees in close to your body. Pull yourself up to your full height, keep your arms at your sides, and your feet about shoulder width apart. Keep your request short and direct. Try saying something like, “Stop it, Jennifer,” or, “Cut it out, Craig. ” As you say this, make sure that you look the bully directly in the eye and speak in a calm, clear voice. Don’t compliment or insult the bully. If you say nice things to a bully after they have been insulting you, putting you down, or physically threatening you, then this will only increase their sense of power. Calling the bully names may enrage them and increase their efforts to hurt you.
Take a few deep breaths and think about something that makes you happy, such as getting a good grade on a test, playing with your dog, or something fun that you are planning to do with your family over the weekend. Doing this may help you to take a step back from the situation and avoid reacting to your emotions. Make sure that you keep your eyes open and maintain eye contact with the bully as you do this. Respond to the bully in a calm way. For example, you might say, “Jack, I know you think you’re funny, but you’re not. Stop. " Or, “Stop now or I’m asking the teacher to move you away from me. " Be sure to talk about how the bully made you feel with someone else later on. Talk with your parents, a school counselor, or a teacher.
You can try standing up for the person and saying something like, “Stop it, Lisa!” Don’t insult the bully or use physical force to stop them from bullying the person. If you are not able to intervene or if intervening does not work, then get help from someone. For example, if you see someone being bullied on the playground, then run and get a teacher or recess monitor and tell them what is happening. Don’t wait until later to tell someone. If you wait, the person may get hurt. Tell a teacher or counselor about any ongoing bullying that you know about. Some forms of bullying, such as exclusion or subtle remarks, may go unnoticed by teachers.
Ask each person what happened. You can also talk to other kids who witnessed the bullying, but don’t do this in front of the bully or the person who was being bullied. If you didn’t witness the bullying yourself, take your time sorting out the details of what happened. Do not try to figure everything out on the spot. Talk with both parties if you can, ask witnesses what they saw, and then put all of the pieces together.
A weapon is involved. There are threats involved. The violence or threats are motivated by hate, such as racism or homophobia. The bully has done serious physical harm to the person. Sexual abuse is involved. Anything illegal has happened, such as blackmail or robbery.
Be careful teasing someone unless you’re good enough friends with them to know that they won’t take it personally. You should also avoid spreading rumors or gossiping about people. Avoid talking about people online or sharing pictures of them without their permission.
If your friends start gossiping about someone, make it clear that you don’t participate in that kind of thing. Try saying something like, “I don’t like gossip. Can we talk about something else?” If you’re part of a group that’s intentionally leaving someone else out, tell the group you want to include everyone, because it’s the right thing to do. Try saying something like, “I think we should be nicer to Catherine. It must be hard to be the new girl in school. ” If you see someone getting picked on and fear for that person’s safety, tell a teacher or school administrator right away. Try saying something like, “I am worried about David. I have noticed that some of the older boys harass him when he is walking home from school. ”
Try starting a conversation with your friends about bullying. You might say something like, “Did you know that bullying is still happening at our school? I think it is terrible and I would like to do something to stop it. ” Talk with your teacher or school counselor about ways you can help. For example, you might be invited to give a presentation on bullying in your class or you might be able to help organize an event to raise awareness about bullying.
Think about who sees what you post online. Complete strangers? Friends? Friends of friends? Privacy settings let you control who sees what.
Block the bully on instant messaging and email. Unfriend and block the person on your social network accounts and use the online privacy settings to ensure that the person can’t contact you again. Block the person’s phone number to stop intimidating texts and phone calls.
Know that other kids in your school are experiencing the same problem, and rules and protocols are in place for good reason. If you’re a parent, set up a meeting with the school administrator instead of trying to handle the situation on your own.
Physical violence. Bullying can lead to real physical harm. If you’re worried that your health or life is in danger, call the police. Stalking and use of intimidation. If someone is violating your personal space and intimidating you, that’s a crime. Death threats or threats of violence. Sharing of potentially humiliating photos or videos without your consent, including sexually explicit photos or videos. Hate-related actions or threats.
