There are many hotlines you can call or text for help. One is 988’’, a 24-hour crisis lifeline for those who are about to self-harm or are in an emergency situation. You can also call 1-800-334-HELP, the Self Injury Foundation’s 24-hour national crisis line. Also try 1-800-DONT-CUT, which provides information about self-harm. If you hurt yourself or want to see a doctor, call 1-800-366-8288, which is S. A. F. E. Alternatives’ information line for immediate support and referrals to a local physician. If you are in the UK, you can call the Samaritans at 116 123, which is an agency that runs 24/7 and is dedicated to moments when you want to self-harm. You can also call Childline, a hotline for children and teens at 0800 1111. Both numbers are free from mobiles and landlines and neither will appear on your phone bill.
Try the butterfly method. When you have the urge to cut, draw a butterfly where you want to harm yourself and name it after a loved one or someone that wants you to get better. If you cut, the butterfly dies. You have to wash it off. If it wears off and you didn’t cut, it is released into the wild to be free. Another idea is the pen method. Grab a red pen and draw lines, squiggles, peace signs, or any symbol all over where you would’ve cut. When you’re done, count the lines. That’s how many scars you won’t have. If these don’t work, try to brush or style your hair, make a cup of tea, count up to 500 or 1000, work on a puzzle or mind game, go people watching, play a musical instrument, watch TV or a movie, paint your nails, organize something like books or your closet, make origami to occupy your hands, be active, play a sport, take a walk, make up a dance routine, or do an art project or color in a picture. The possibilities are endless. It just has to be something that will adequately distract you.
While you wait, think about the scars you don’t want and about how you don’t have to hurt yourself even though you’re thinking about it or maybe want to do it. Repeat affirmations to yourself, such as “I don’t deserve to be hurt,” even if you don’t believe it at first. Remember that you always have the choice not to cut. The decision is truly up to you.
Start in a comfortable position, either sitting on the floor with your legs crossed or in a chair with your feet planted flat on the ground. Start focusing on your breathing. Next, start to bring awareness to each of your senses. Spend about one minute on each sense, focusing on only one at a time. Hearing: Focus on external sounds. Are they cars going by, people talking? Next, focus on internal sounds. Can you hear your breathing or digestion? As you focus on hearing, did you notice anything you did not before? Smelling: What do you smell? Is there food near you? Or maybe flowers outside? You might notice smells you did not before. Try closing your eyes to sharpen your other senses. Seeing: What do you see? Can you see out a window? Take notice of details such as colors, patterns, shapes, and textures. Tasting: What do you taste? Notice anything you can taste in your mouth, maybe from a morning coffee or your lunch. Move your tongue around to engage your taste buds, checking for any additional tastes you encounter. Touching: Feel the sensation of your skin being touched. This can be from the carpet under your feet or legs, the clothes on your skin, or the air moving across your face. Feel the chair you are sitting in. [4] X Research source
Start in a comfortable seated position. Have a single point to focus on. This can be visual, such a fixed point in the room, auditory, such as a repeated single word or prayer, or physical, such as counting beads on a rosary. While you are focusing on the repeated task or stationary object, your mind will wander. When you notice your thoughts wandering, let the thought go and bring your concentration back to your focus point. This might sound easy, but focusing the mind is challenging. Do not be disappointed if you can only focus for a few minutes at first. Keep trying until you can spend hours releasing your thoughts and clearing your mind. [6] X Research source
Try even breathing. This is a simple technique where you count to five while inhaling, hold for five counts, and take five counts to exhale. Focus on each part of your breathing.
Start in a comfortable position that allows you to focus on different muscle groups. Most people find sitting or lying down the easiest to start. Next, focus on one group of muscles that you can tense and then relax. Tense these muscles for five seconds, squeezing just the muscle group you are working on at that moment. After five seconds, relax all of the muscles in that area and stay relaxed for 15 seconds. Then move on to the next muscle group. Repeat this multiple times a day if needed. Isolation of particular muscle groups can be difficult, but it gets easier with practice. Common areas include your face, hands and arms, stomach or middle section, and legs and feet. Wear loose fitting clothing so you are comfortable. [10] X Research source
Benefits to a mindfulness walk include learning awareness in daily life and focusing your consciousness. Traditional, stationary mediation might be hard for some people, so mindful walking is a more active form of meditation. There are also the added health benefits of walking. [12] X Research source
If you are angry or frustrated, find a pillow to punch, go outside and yell, rip up some paper, or squeeze a stress ball. You can even take up kickboxing classes or take a self-defense course. Any activity that will help you release the emotions you typically express through cutting will help you avoid cutting in the future. Finding the right outlet can take time. Try a few until you find one that fits your emotions. Keep in mind that it may change from situation to situation. [15] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
Positive self-talk can also help keep a health perspective on your emotions. Remind yourself that emotions and the urge to want to cut are just emotions and not fact. They will pass or can be improved. The feelings you are having that make you want to cut will not always be there. [17] X Research source Linehan, M. M. (1993). Skills Training Manual for Treating Borderline Personality Disorder. New York: Guilford Press
I am lovable. I am special. I am confident. I can achieve my goals. I am beautiful/handsome. My feelings are just feelings. My emotions will not last forever. Emotions are not facts. Harming myself does not solve my problems. Harming myself might provide quick relief, but not long term relief. I can overcome my anger/sadness/anxiety without harming. I can trust someone with my feelings right now. I can seek support. I’m going to make it.
The goal is not to change your thoughts but to become aware of the thoughts. This will help you acknowledge them, which will help you not passively act on these negative thoughts that lead to self-harming behaviors. Try to write down the situation, thought, feeling, or emotion you have as well as any physical sensation such as energy, tightening of the stomach, and actions you do.
A good way to assess negative thoughts is to look for statements with words like should, ought, or must. These types of statements lead to messages of all or nothing. These negative, often harsh thoughts about yourself can lead to self-harm. Looking at your thoughts journal, what were some alternative thoughts you could have had? Write down the alternative and positive statements that undermine the negative thoughts you had. Ask a friend or trusted family member if you are unsure if thoughts are true.
Don’t keep sharp objects on your table and don’t put razors in drawers or cupboards that you can easily access. [18] X Research source If you do not yet feel able to throw out your tools, try to delay getting to them by keeping them wrapped up tightly and high up on hard-to-reach shelves. If possible, give them to someone else. This is a guaranteed way that they won’t be find-able. You’ll likely be angry initially, but when it passes, you’ll be thankful that it stopped you from being able to harm yourself.
Common triggers can include problems with peers such as bullying and cyber bullying, pressure at school, feeling socially isolated, abuse, confusion around sexuality, and issues in your family. [19] X Research source Some people are more likely to cut at certain times of the day. If you know that you’re more prone to cutting in the morning, take extra caution just after you roll out of bed. Know yourself and what to do to handle the next urge. If you’ve just had an argument with somebody close to you, for example, and are having the urge to self-harm, stop and ask yourself what’s making you feel this way: “I feel like harming myself because I’ve just had an argument with somebody I love, and it’s making me feel really bad. " Determine what in particular makes this situation trigger negative emotions, such as a certain feeling or maybe an action. Work on reducing this issue until you have it under control or completely diminished. [20] X Research source
Other reasons that people cut include a need for control over your body, especially when you feel out of control. Some people self-harm to feel something when feeling numb. Others do it as a response to trauma or other issues like anxiety and depression. [22] X Research source
Consider going to group therapy, where you’ll be able to see that there are other people struggling with the same issue. If you’re a minor, tell your parent or guardian that you need to see a mental health professional as soon as possible. Emphasize that this is an emergency. If you’re an adult and have health insurance, call your primary care physician as soon as possible and ask for a referral to a therapist or psychologist who specializes in self-harm. If you’re not insured, investigate free or low-cost mental health clinics in your area, or ask a member of your clergy for help if you are religious. [23] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
You should also seek help immediately if you are having thoughts of suicide.
Research does show people who self-harm are more likely to commit suicide later. This is often correlated with other factors such as depression, feeling as if there are fewer reason to live, or feeling hopeless. Make sure you take any suicidal thoughts seriously and seek help. Look for distinct signs of suicide, such as talking about wanting to die or to kill themselves, looking for a way to kill themselves, making statements about being hopeless, or talking about having no reason to live. [25] X Trustworthy Source National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Suicide prevention network operating a toll-free 24/7 hotline for anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts or emotional distress Go to source If you or someone you love are thinking about suicide, get help. Call 988’’ to talk to someone about helping the person who is contemplating it, or call the appropriate emergency services number if an attempt has already occurred.
