Avoid pushing your son into letting you talk to his ex-girlfriend. You may not know all the details of their breakup, and it’s possible that hearing from his family may be difficult for his ex-girlfriend. If your son doesn’t want you to talk to her, he may change his mind. Wait at least a few months and gently ask again after he has taken time to cool off. Many need a period of no contact (from anyone in the family) to recover from a breakup. [4] X Research source
To avoid any potential awkwardness, mail the card to your son’s ex-girlfriend instead of delivering it yourself.
If you call a few times and she doesn’t pick up, understand that she may not want to talk. Everyone handles breakups differently, and your son’s ex-girlfriend may need space.
To express gratitude, try something like, “I wanted to let you know that I am so grateful to have gotten to know you. You always made family trips so much fun. Thank you for everything these past few years!” Thank her specifically for any gifts she gave you. For example, you could say, “Thank you for that amazing candle you got me for my birthday! I’ve used it so much that I’ll have to get a new one soon. "
Relay a kind message, such as, “I hope you have been doing well. Know that I wish you only the best!” Though you may find it kind to tell your son’s ex-girlfriend that he made a mistake ending the relationship, this may open up fresh wounds or make the breakup messier.
Try something like, “I hope you know how much your smile and sense of humor will be missed at the next family dinner!”
If you want your son and his ex-girlfriend to get back together, remaining in contact with her is not what is going to bring them back into each other’s lives. They ultimately need space to decide what they want to do.
You never know, after some space, she may return your call and wish you well!
