It could take several months and maybe even years for a friendship to die out on its own, but it’ll happen eventually. You may not even need to really discuss your feelings too much this way. All you need to do is patiently wait for your friendship to fizzle out.
For instance, you could say, “I don’t feel like my needs are being met and I think that it would be better for both of us if we stopped being friends. ” You could also try, “I haven’t been super happy in a while and I don’t think things are working out really well. I think it would be better if we went our separate ways. ” It may be difficult to sit down with a long-time friend, but it may also be the kindest, most respectful way to tell them.
Keep it short and simple with something like, “Please stop contacting me” or “I’m not interested in talking. ” While this is the most extreme way to end your friendship, if you’ve been dealing with an abusive friend, you don’t have to put up with it anymore.
If you want, you can write down a nice thing you could do for them to reconnect and maintain your friendship. For instance, you could write “Calvin Johnson. Invite him over for pizza” or “Jackie Smith. Ask her to come to the beach with us. ” If you’ve been unhappy with your former friendship, you may have neglected some of your other friends. Don’t worry. You have plenty of time to make things up to them.
Your former friend may misrepresent or lie about what happened between you. Talk to your mutual friends and tell them the truth about what happened. You could say, “Steve and I just haven’t been close for a while and I needed to make some changes in my life. ”
If they choose to be friends with your former friend, so be it.
For instance, you could try something like, “Hi, hope you’re doing well” or “Hey, nice to see you” or even, “Hi, you look good. ” In time, you won’t be as bothered about seeing them somewhere. Just stay calm and try to be civil when it happens.
Try, “No, we aren’t friends anymore, and I don’t want to get into the details” or “Unfortunately, we aren’t friends anymore, and I hope you can understand why I don’t want to talk about it too much. ” Don’t try to hide the end of your friendship either. Chances are they may hear it from your former friend anyway. It’s better to be honest with your mutual friends and other people when they ask.
People are likely to perceive you more positively if you don’t resort to trash-talking.
