Nerve-related issues due to diabetes, stroke, spinal cord injury, or heavy alcohol or drug use. Low testosterone or other hormone-related issues Certain drugs or cancer treatments[2] X Research source
Other emotional causes of ED might include depression, anxiety, relationship problems, or being insecure about their sexual performance. [4] X Research source Sometimes, frequently masturbating to pornography can lead to performance issues in the bedroom, because real sex isn’t always as stimulating as porn. It might help if your guy takes a break from porn for a while—have an honest conversation with him if you think that’s the problem. [5] X Research source
A physical exam of your partner’s penis and testicles. Blood or urine tests to check for signs of diabetes, hormonal imbalances, high cholesterol, or high blood pressure. An ultrasound examination to check for blood flow problems inside the penis. A psychological screening for depression, anxiety, or other problems that might be contributing to ED.
It might also help if you have a conversation about what you both like during sex. That can help you feel closer as a couple, which can help take some of the pressure off when you are intimate. [9] X Research source It’s also helpful if you offer to go with him to the doctor—not only will it will help you have a good idea of what to expect from treatment, but the support might make him feel more comfortable with making the appointment. [10] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Medical School Harvard Medical School’s Educational Site for the Public Go to source
For instance, you might go for a walk together, then say something like, “I know you don’t like to talk about it, but I hope you know it’s normal for men to sometimes have trouble with sex. I can tell it bothers you—would you like me to go with you to your doctor to ask about it? I care a lot about your health, and I’d love to see you feeling more confident again. " Having the conversation when you’re not being intimate can help take some of the emotion out of things. If you mention it in the bedroom, your partner might be more likely to get defensive or embarrassed.
If you think emotional or relationship issues might be to blame, consider couple’s or individual therapy. If he’s suffering from depression or anxiety, a combination of therapy and medication might be appropriate. Talk to your partner and his doctor about treatment options if you think heavy drinking or drug use could be contributing to his ED.
Common ED medications include sildenafil (Viagra), vardenafil (Levitra), avanafil (Stendra), and tadalafil (Cialis). These medications may not be safe if you take certain medications, like nitrates for chest pain, or if you have heart disease, heart failure, or low blood pressure. Talk to your doctor about these and any other health concerns. Avoid herbal treatments for ED unless your doctor recommends them—these aren’t regulated by the FDA and can sometimes lead to dangerous side effects.
Penis pumps[14] X Trustworthy Source MedlinePlus Collection of medical information sourced from the US National Library of Medicine Go to source Inflatable or bendable penile implants[15] X Trustworthy Source Cleveland Clinic Educational website from one of the world’s leading hospitals Go to source Testosterone therapy if the cause is hormonal[16] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Medical School Harvard Medical School’s Educational Site for the Public Go to source
If your partner pulls away, it’s normal for you to feel lonely or frustrated. If these feelings persist, it might help you to talk to a therapist. [18] X Research source Keep in mind that it sometimes takes a while for ED treatments to work. Reassure your partner that you’re willing to keep trying until you find what works for him.
Sometimes, relationship problems can contribute to ED. That doesn’t mean it’s your fault at all! However, if you’re arguing a lot, the two of you should strongly consider couple’s counseling so you can go back to feeling intimate and affectionate towards each other. [20] X Research source
Your support will be essential in helping him maintain his confidence throughout this process. However, don’t be surprised if he is resistant to your reassurances, especially if the problem persists over time. Just try to remain understanding, and remind him that treatment can take time to work. [22] X Research source
Try kissing, cuddling, touching, stroking, and teasing—those are all great ways to help both of you get and stay aroused. Let him know it’s okay for both of you to climax doing those things. [24] X Research source If you can have a few successful sessions that aren’t about penetrative sex, it might help your partner regain some of his confidence. If your partner is able to get an erection but tends to lose it during sex, consider using a penis ring to trap the blood inside the penis. When he’s semi-erect, put it around the base of his penis and around his testicles. Then, take it off when you’re finished having sex.
