Say things like, “Tell me about what happened,” or, “Just let it all out. ”
Sometimes people lash out when they’re angry, even if they aren’t angry at you. If you feel like you can’t have a productive conversation, you can just give her some space to calm down.
If she’s mad at you, it’s unfair of her to expect that you’ll know what’s wrong without talking it out. Wait until she’s calmed down a little, then try to talk with her again.
It might be helpful to rephrase what she’s saying in her own words. For instance, you could say, “So what I hear you saying is that you’re mad because I forgot to pick up dinner on my way home. ”
Say something like, “I understand why that would make you angry. It’s frustrating when someone is late and doesn’t tell you why. ”
If you’re apologizing, say something like, “I’m really sorry I didn’t answer your calls all day. I was super busy at work and I forgot to plug my phone in, so it died. ” If you don’t think you should apologize, say something like, “I understand that you’re angry, but I did tell you that I’d be busy today. I can’t be on my phone at work all the time. ”
Phrase it by saying something like, “I can tell you’re still upset. Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?”
If you two live far away from each other, tell her that she can call or text you at any time.
If you think she’s looking for advice, say something like, “Do you want my opinion on the situation?”
