Did ending the relationship happen suddenly, or was it a long time coming? If you saw the breakup coming, it’s probably best to ignore the text. [3] X Research source Is your life better, worse, or unchanged post-breakup? If you feel relieved, free, or happier post-breakup, you might not want to respond to the message. Did your ex treat you well? If the relationship was unhealthy, just don’t respond to the message.
For instance, you might be really tempted to respond with something like, “I miss you and I wish we were back together. ” However, it’s probably better to hold off on sending that message until you’ve figured out what your ex wants and whether they have good intentions.
“Hey, it’s good to hear from you. Can I ask why you’re reaching out now?” “I know you seemed really certain when you ended things between us. Why are you telling me this now?” “What do you mean when you say that?”
They’re willing to take your new relationship slowly. They don’t try to pressure you. They’re focused on working together to find solutions to your past relationship problems. They’ve broken bad habits or picked up healthy new ones since you two were together. They’ve broken off contact with other people they were seeing.
“It’s nice to hear from you, but I’m in a new relationship now and I’ve moved on. ” “I hope you’re doing well. I’m with someone else, though, and I think it’s better if you and I both take some space and time to heal. ” “I care about you, and I hope you’ll find someone amazing. But I’ve moved on. ” If you’d rather be subtle, reply in a friendly but businesslike way that shows you aren’t interested. [8] X Expert Source Connell BarrettDating Coach Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.
“I care about you, but I think it’s better if we stay friends for now. ” “It’s really good to hear from you. I do miss you, but I’m only ready for friendship right now. ” “I’m still processing the breakup. But I’d love to be friends, if that sounds ok to you. ”
“Thanks for being so open with me. I’m not totally sure about us giving things another shot. But I’d love the chance to figure that out. ” “I’m still processing how I feel about us, but I’d love to keep talking. ” “I really appreciate you reaching out. I’m going to need some time to work through this, but I’m also not ready to give up on us. ”
When you do meet up, set boundaries and establish clear expectations. For instance, you might want a committed relationship but your ex might want a casual situation at first. Your ex might want to move back in with you, but you might not want that yet.
If you’re moving on from a toxic or abusive relationship, check out https://www. loveisrespect. org/ and https://www. thehotline. org/ for more support and resources.
